Are You A Skinny Wiener? Gaining Weight On A Budget.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't lift."

Gaining Weight On A Budget:

You wanna put on size. You want to increase your strength. You want to scare people. But, you're not about to overdraft your bank account at the risk of getting fat. I gotchu. This is my specialty. Buying food needed to gain sustainable weight is actually affordable. You will have to man up and understand that you may pony up a little more money up front than you are use to, but the food will last much longer then your usual grocery run. Trust you are making a wise investment.

First, we gotta assume that you are looking to increase by at least 15 lbs. but preferably more. Otherwise, you are wasting time. I don't write blog post that consider competitors or fighters into equation. For them a five pound increase could be the difference between 1st place and 24th place. I write for the common man. The brothers who want to look strong as fuck and be strong as fuck, for the guys who have been lifting for years but don't look like the guys who got them into weightlifting, and most importantly for the skinny wiener who has no shape and wants to get big. (the skinny wiener guys really need to be all eyes on this post). If you are cherry to weight training with a shapeless body the first order of business is to eat everything all the time. You have no dietary restrictions. I'm serious. Start cramming everything, all the time. Come at this project like a professional competitive eater. You need to jump start your body. Flood the crease and get to work in the gym. Enjoy these first few months of asshole level eating while you can because it will be the last time in your weightlifting life that will be the allowed.

Second, the amount you've been eating is obviously not cutting it. You have to make a legitimate effort to increase your caloric intake. It is difficult, definitely annoying, and your stomach is gonna hate you at first. It gets better though. Once your body adjusts to the increase you'll find that nothing seems to stop your hunger. This is a great sign and means shit is working.

Low Cost and Affordable Food:

• oatmeal. Not the packaged sugar molested shit. You get plain as fuck oats. If your a pussy and you need sweetness in your oats then put your own fruit in it. My advice is just to hike up your skirt and throw some peanut butter and cinnamon in it.
• peanut butter
• raw almonds (almonds are expensive no matter where you go. So take the hit because they are a must for between meal snacking or during those marathon lift sessions. The energy they provide is real. You can nearly feel it).
• chicken breasts
• canned tuna
• pasta (100% whole wheat or veggie infused is preferred)
• white rice
• black beans, kidney beans, pinto beans
• cottage cheese
• plain greek yogurt in a large tub
• 100% whole wheat bread
• ground beef (get as lean as you can afford)
• ground turkey
• whole milk
• un-sweetend vanilla almond milk
• avocados (expensive everywhere expect ALDI. they have em for like 50 cents each).
• bananas
• spinach
• talapia fillets
• entire pizza's
• canned chili (low sodium, reduced fat or low fat)
• canned soups (again low in sodium with reduced or low fat)
• lower sugar ice cream 

Many more options available but it all depends on starting weight, goals, and ideal end weight. Until you are advanced enough to navigate your own nutritional needs don't stray from this list. Just get it home and make it fucking work. If dudes from the 1950's can get thick there is no excuse why you cant in 2016.

Remove your spit guard and start eating.

But, but,......I...uhhhhh:

• Anything that is single serving ready will be higher in price. You are paying for the convenience. Get the big tubs and separate your portions at home like an adult.
• Buy your produce fresh. Green veggies and fruit are most nutritious fresh. Frozen veggies arent too bad but not ideal.
• Get your chicken and fish frozen. 
• Get your ground turkey and ground beef fresh if you can, otherwise buy the huge refrigerated portions, freeze them, then thaw as needed
• Everything you get needs to be as low in sugar as possible. Sugar is the enemy. 

Where can I find these items the cheapest?

• Sketchy, rundown Mexican markets forever have the best prices.
• ALDI is without a doubt ground zero for deal you will never forget. Insanely cheap, excellent quality.
• Grocery stores that poor people frequent. Use your best (or worst) judgment. The rule of thumb is the farther south or west it is, the cheaper the prices.
• Costco. It takes a heavy blow to your bank account up front but when its two weeks later and you still have 100 eggs, gallons of almond milk, and endless frozen meat you'll be stoked. If you are sloth like me when it comes to protein shakes then you need Costco;s Pure Protein individual chocolate shakes in your life time now. Best fucking protein shake in the game. Left hand promise. 3g sugar, 30g protein. No after taste. No refrigeration required. The 25 case comes out to like 1.80 per shake. That price it "TOOOO SWEET"!
• Trader Joe's: If you have never been then check it out. It looks expensive but is actually cheap. Solid business plan. Go here for all your seasonings, snacks, sauces, and random protein bars. Take your significant other with you and make them feel like them fancy rich folk. Turn it into a date. Chicks love cool guy alternative health grocery stores. Also when you go to Trader Joe's it's a 93% chance you will be the biggest, buffest, and strongest man walking the aisles. Real talk.

the photograph equivalent of weightlifter shopping at Traders Joe's

I have these things but what do I do with them?

Welcome to bowl life. I'm strong proponent of all meals eaten out of bowls. Gangbang the ingredients together in a plastic bowl and shovel it into your head. Its faster, easier, and much more realistic than that high-speed culinary pornography found in recipe ideas and fitness magazines/websites.

I can't cook, things taste plain, I don't have a large frying pan, one spatula, and a cutting knife.....

You are a man, it is 2016, These are basic tools. teach yourself a skill. I cannot think of a better skill to have then the ability to feed yourself. Get it into your head right now that the gym and the kitchen are connected. Eat and cook the same way you lift. With purpose and discipline. Get your firm glutes into the kitchen and figure it out. Don't worry my brothers. Ill get you started. These are a few of my own creations.

• Poor and Hungry:1 large can of tuna, 1 cup of whole wheat pasta shells, 1 cup veggie pasta, massive handful of raw spinach that you chop up into tiny pieces. Put it together in a bowl, add some lemon juice and reduced-fat parmesan cheese for seasoning. done.

• Bachelor Stew: 2-3 whole eggs and 6 egg whites scrambled, half pound of ground turkey sauteed in a pan, 1 can of low sodium black beans. mushrooms if you want. combine in bowl, season with salt, pepper, paprika. Or us can use an all-in-one seasoning like Lowery's or Weber Grill.

• Custom Chili:get fucking liberal on this one. Nothing is off limits.1 can kidney beans, 1 can black beans, 1 can pinto beans, 2 cans of roasted tomatoes, saute some peppers or whatever gets you off and put it all together. cook it slow and throw a bunch of wild ass seasonings in it.

• Night Cap: a bunch of natural peanut butter, 1 cup plain greek yogurt, 1 cup cottage cheese, 1 scoop of whey protein, 1/2 almond milk, a lot of cinnamon, and some honey for sweetness if you desire. miss that shit and put it in the fridge. 30 mins later you are feasting hard without the guilt of a cheat meal.

• White Privilege Tuna: 1 large can of tuna, 1 whole avocado, mustard (I prefer Trader Joe's mustard seeds), 

I don't know how else to help out the plebe gainers. I've laid out everything for you to do. I'm not gonna cook it for you. So here is the hard part ....YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK. Time to get in the kitchen and crank out some meals that go the distance. All the above recipes can go the distance. lunch and dinner for one day.

get in on that new Cape Fear Program. yacht murder gains.

There is a podcast I follow called Smart Drug Smarts: Brain Optimization. Its all about the different ways to to improve cognition in the human brain. If you recall from previous posts I have stated time and time again that weightlifting is 50% mental. So to improve your mind will naturally improve your lifts. They recently released two really good episodes I recommend you check out.

The first is Episode 75 Creatine: Brains and Brawn? Here is the episode description from their website: "Creatine has long been known as a supplement-of-choice for athletes and weightlifters… but what cognitive benefits might Creatine provide"? I've always said Creatine is one of the very few must have supplements for serious lifters looking to gain weight or increase size/strength.

The second one is Episode 125 Exercise and Cognition "Brains and Brawn, long positioned as polar opposites, turn out to be anything but. In this episode, Jesse talks with fitness trainer Sal di Stefano — also the co-host and resident science geek at the MindPump podcast — about best practices to use physical exercise to enhance your cognition." This dude Sal di Stefano, who's own podcast is generally good, but the episodes are filled with entirely too much small talk that goes off  subject much too often for my patience. Sal drops some seriously awesome knowledge and calls out the entire modern fitness business model that pumps out so much garbage. Really inspiring stuff.

PREPARE TO COPY: 

Standing order is as follows......ALL TEARS WILL BE SHED AND COLLECTED AFTER DARK. If you have tears to shed save them for the night.Your pillow will listen, we will not.

Come back soon my friends. Next post is going live this week. I am in my last week of the spring semester with a 4 week break till summer classes start. Been extra motivated lately and I got a load of content to dump. 

P.S. The Black Metal Fitness merchandise store got a small update. The Sabbath-purple Deadlift shirt is up for sale. Don't spend all your money just yet though. I got a fucking gnarly tank top hitting the store next week as well as the very much sought after Ranger Panties VOL. II. The promised 15% off promo code for everyone who ordered from the first press will be sent to your email when the ranger panties and tank top go up for sale. I'm really excited for everyone to the new gear. Dominate the gym world wide in uniform. Hails!

STAY GRIM.

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DEVOTION TO SELF ABOVE ALL ELSE.

"Working out is modern couture. No outfit is going to make you look or feel as good as having a fit body. Buy less clothing and go to the gym instead." - Rick Owens

This is Rick Owens. A 50 year old luxury fashion designer who is living in his own world. The dude is on another level in all the weirdest ways possible. Considered by many to be the sitting lord of Goth, his whole existence is one giant aesthetic. He champions vanity and letting physical look speak for you like a shrine to a god from ten lifetimes ago. His interviews are filled with biblical quotes on fitness and weightlifting. Check out some of interviews and videos to really understand what I mean.

The first time I ever heard of him was in a Vice magazine in 2009. I read the entire interview and it clicked with me right away. I could feel that his responses were sincere and not to maintain some kind of fashionable aura he was expected to uphold (queer for the sake of being queer). He spoke on the merits of only wearing black, his disdain for colors, and why owns minimal clothing with no variety. He also discussed how he got in shape, what weightlifting means to him, and why transforming your body is the ultimate fashion accessory. Here is a link to the article I speak of Rick Owens VICE 2009.

here are the two highlights from the above article....

"I’m not really into clothes. I wear one outfit like a uniform, and I have for years. Black sweatpants, black baggy shorts over them, a black or white cotton t-shirt, and a black cashmere t-shirt over that. I couldn’t imagine having to change outfits every day or having to change for the gym."

This one is my all-time favorite:

"Changing your body is so much more hardcore. The extreme sensation of working out has replaced the mosh pits of my earlier years and the sex clubs for years after that. It’s a great combo of discipline, joyous release, meditation, and vanity. Music never sounded as good as it does now, pounding through those earbud headphones into the pit of my stomach as I feel my muscles swell."

His outlook on his appearance and aesthetic has resonated with me since then. After reading this article I almost immediately trashed all colored clothing in my wardrobe. Since then I have been wearing black exclusively. Rick also gave me the courage to buy and wear sweatpants. I know that sounds lame but I never thought about sweatpants as a "must own" item. I have seen the err of my ways and now trust in the power of black sweatpants.

trust in me. I will not fail you. treat yourself.

I think my respect and admiration for this dude stems from his involvement in an a industry that borderline prides itself on unhealthy looks, famished figures, excessive drug and alcohol consumption, fake behavior, and being an arrogant prick just because you sew fabric. Despite being submerged in that environment, he rejected those norms and carved his own self-fulfilling path. He sells bracelets for 300 dollars and sweaters that cost over a grand but he himself rejects the high fashion dress. Its like the ultimate middle finger. Similar to Henry Rollins, its like having a guy on the inside. He decided he wanted to get in shape and be strong and fit. He didn't care what anyone thought about it or if they approved. To me "he gets it".

IMO the greatest quote ever about weightlifting and wanting to look good came from his mouth;

 "Buy less clothing and go to the gym instead."

I will never grow long hair. It takes a certain kind of person to pull off the long hair and muscles look.

don't forget this dude is 50! ain't nobody's dad looking this healthy at that age.

FOOD

Most people I know despise cottage cheese but it is like #3 on all-time gain friendly nutrition. I always eat a cup or two before bed. If you hate cottage cheese I don't blame you. I must ask though have you ever had Breakstone cottage cheese? If you have never eaten it then I beg you to rethink your stance on CC. There is no other product on the market that comes close to the taste and texture of this brand. I refuse to eat any other kind of CC. In all my years of hunting I have found nothing comparable to this. It all tastes like shit. This is product completely unique. I highly recommend you incorporate this into your nutrition plan.

Breakstone's Cottage Cheese. nothing else matters.

Red Mill Oatmeal

 If you're gonna gain then you have to eat oatmeal. Its expected of you. Oatmeal is essential because its healthy, it fills you up, gives you sustained energy, and has all the good carbohydrates one needs to begin building muscle. I love oatmeal but I have been eating it for so long now that it often pains me to consume. I was burnt out on the oats until given the opportunity to try this particular brand of. Total game changer. The best tasting oatmeal I have ever tried. The texture and consistency is unmatched. I get excited in the AM when I get to cook this because it is really that good. It has some kind of meaningless ribbon on the package that says "#1 tasting oatmeal in the world" and I believe it. Red Mill Oatmeal comes highly recommend for everyone out there looking to upgrade their nutrition lifestyle. Its a little pricier than I like to spend ($4-ish) but for the quality of the product it is very much worth it.

Pyramid Bench Press Pyramid

despite the website's lulzy handle, I found this calculator to be extremely helpful in my quest toward bench press improvement.

Bench Press Calculator

Its a great foundation for anyone who finds themselves hitting the same numbers for same sets for too long. A good way to break up the monotony of bench press life. I don't follow this hard and fast, I use this more as a base. No matter what though, I always attempt the heaviest called for set with a spotter. Preparing for a new max attempt in the coming months. Since technique is what separates the elite lifters from the busters, becoming comfortable with heavy weight on the bar while minding form is crucial in progression. In between sets of this I usually hit incline dumbbells (weight between 55-95lbs) and some low rep, light weight (10-20lbs) cable crossovers. 

You should know my mantra at this point in the game. Being strong isn't enough. I want to BE strong and LOOK strong. I want the aesthetics and the power. That is what real strength means to me. There is nothing more exciting to me then seeing the definition between the nape of your neck and the top of your pec. A permanent pump so savage you could balance a pencil on top of your pec.

Dream physique.

MOTIVATION

I found this music video yesterday while navigating the worn hole of YouTube for music videos that feature buff dudes. Its fucking golden boys. just wait for that chorus. At first I was sensing some troll level vibes but after two minutes in a sincerely believe that this is produced non-ironically. At least that's what I want to believe. The dudes outfit throughout the video are really what took this home for me. Do-rag, cargo shorts, and CAT work boots. The mink coat of bodybuilding fitness. A nod to the lifters of yester-year when you only wore the cheapest clothes possible because all your money is spent on food, supps, and gear. Its a look that's exclusive to the bodybuilder community and always stands the test of time. Its not what you wear but how you wear it because without the physique you end up looking like a white, GED-n-goatee weed seller who smokes Newports and is really into cars but doesn't have one.

I knew this was going to be a modern classic right up front. The screen shot provided for the video left little to the imagination. A buff ass dude in a luxury pool popping champagne around a circle of babes. I couldn't click play fast enough.

RIFFAGE

Sangus from Rhode Island. https://sangus.bandcamp.com/

About two months ago I went to Reggie's to see Mgla play. Needless to say they fucking killed it. But there was a band on the tour that played before Mgla called Sangus whom I had never heard. Usually I don't give a fuck about the opening bands but I saw the singer before the show so It was my duty as a fellow Buff Guy to stick around. Not too often you see another lifter bro at a black metal show. Much to my delight they did not suck. They were brutal. 

The singer is a wolf-hybrid of Rollins Band era Henry and a disgraced outlaw UFC fighter. Halfway through the set he took his shirt off (+5 points. I see you brah.) and poured what I assume is pigs blood over his face and body. War boner achievement unlocked. Even if its only theatrics, the 1,000 yard stare and muscular frame transcended parody and became the physical visual of the bands sound. It's an interesting concept of music that many bands try to convey but few rarely succeed. I love the idea of the singer being the face of a bands music setting the mood. It was watching a man slowly transform from a timid human coiled in insecurity into a raging animal in league with the devil. Make no mistake this band is on board with the devil.

I felt compelled to share this band not so much for their sound. They are great but nothing incredibly memorable. I don't necessarily fault them for this as they are relatively new (to me) with a small catalog. I can see their next release really finding their stride and hopefully bringing them to a bigger presence in the metal scene.

Lets not fool ourselves here boys. Im sharing this band because its got a buff dude as a singer. plain and simple. Always looking out and making time for metal bands with muscle in the line-up. Something about listening to a band in the gym and knowing some or all of the dudes hit the weights the same way I am gets me extra primed. 

"Buff Dude Metal" (copyrighted) is a rare genre in a complex world of instant gratification, two year no tour bands, and physical mediocrity. Ive been waiting for out generations Danzig, I know hes out there! show yourself! Lead from the front and open the eyes of other metal dudes that getting thick. solid, and tight is the new standard. That strong is the new drunk.

dark sided basement gig. likely not as evil as the photo conveys but im picking up what their putting down.

sleeveless hoodie under battle vest. BM elitists will be upset at the progressive and fashionable nature of this outfit. This look works exclusively with Gig Life. Only works if you are in the band or touring with the band. Could possibly work doing security for the venue of a non-metal show. As much as I want to rock this look im not confident enough to sell it. My gains are terrible, soft, and weak. Im a wet noodle in my mind. the gift and the curse of weightlifting. Never satisfied. ugh.

I call this this "Gig Flex" an offshoot of my series of flexes I have named that a person can do IRL. Hes just singing his song on and holding onto his mic stand so he doesn't drop it. Not forced. Its necessary. See below for further examples.

 The Flex Series is a natural flex that highlights gains without the appearance of trying incredibly hard to prove you lift. Other examples of IRL Flexes are the Text Flex, when you pull your phone close to your stomach, point your elbows backwards, and raise up the phone to chest level. Biceps flare up and all your are doing is just texting ol girl at the bar. Optimal deployment is in a close quarters bar or store and busters are getting comfortable or close to you. Hit em wit hthe flex and let them know they better step out of the kill zone (kill zone is 2 feet from the person in all directions).

The Baby Flex. Holding your infant-toddler child at mid-chest level. You bare the weight of baby on your arm so the entire arm is activated into a temporary full flex stage. Another great IRL flex is the Grocery Flex which is carrying all your groceries in one trip from the trunk to the apartment. Shoulders back, chest out, and palms facing slightly outward in direction of travel. Optimal when you have high foot traffic in the path of the car/bus stop to front door. Neighbors are mirin' and you aren't even trying. You're just living your life doing things normal people do.

It should go without saying that all IRL flexes should be performed in a short sleeved, form fitting t-shirt, sleeveless, or tank top. There is a whole list of other IRL Flexes that I may share with you in the near future. These are closely guarded insider secrets of the Buff Dude Society that are normally never shared. I may even get called to appear before the council of Buff Elders to explain my actions here. Its a punishment I am willing to risk in order to help fellow Buff Dude prospects. You're are welcome friends. 

 WEB STORE IS OPEN. NOW TILL JAN. 13th.

www.blackmetalfitness.bigcartel.com

 

It is with great pleasure and much relief to announce the arrival and sale of the highly sought after BMF Ranger Panties (Vol. I). The silkies will be on sale from right now until 0000 January 13th. I extended the window of sale due to the holiday season. I know many have kids and girls to provide gifts for. Others are traveling out of town and out of the country. So I accommodated them appropriately. 

This is Vol. I of the BMF Ranger Panties series. Each order comes with a Prayer Card and 2 BMF stickers. Once the store closes only orders that are placed will go to print. After that I am destroying the screen. Taking a vow to the Devil of integrity and honor to never print them again. Once all orders ship I will prepare and produce Vol. II of the Ranger Panties which will feature a different custom design and come with another unique free item. 

Additionally the BMF black tank top will be available for purchase starting tonight and will close on the same day January 13th. As with the slikies, the tank tops with this design will be printed one time only. The tank tops are printed on American Apparel 50/50. This will increase the price slightly but fit properly. No one wants to wear a belly shirt in an awkward box shape with a shirt flap flag flying behind them. The price for these will be $15 dollars. This ensures that I cover costs and make only enough money to print future items. I refuse to overcharge or profit from this concept. I am selling all merch slightly above cost. My way of saying thanks for all the support I have received over the last two years.

More updates are on the way. Got a big "year in review" and a "2016 outlook" blogs already drafted. Keep coming through and soaking up all you can. spread the site, spread the knowledge to any you see fit. This is not about me this is about us. The future alpha males of our universe need guidance. Let us not fail them!

receive the light of truth. prepare for accession into the weight room.

STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM. 



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NEW MUSIC FOR THAT DARKSIDED SPECIAL SOMEONE....

The death of summer.

 

Its that time of year to refit your playlist and tune it to changing seasons. For me this was the summer of the riff. I went on a long occult riffage and atmospheric black metal  tour for awhile. Never really been a fan of those genres. Outside of The Devils Blood and Agalloch I treaded softly around that stuff, seemed too forced IMO. But it was good for me. Wiped my slate blank. It prepared me mentally and spiritually for the impending rotten grimness that awaited beyond the event horizon. As with every year,  black metal dominates my playlists from mid-October till about May. There is nothing more satisfying both visually and internally then trudging through the shit storm of snow and ice with savage black metal as the soundtrack. Chicago winters make a man. He must earn the summer by submitting to the forces of nature and enduring the cold.

So in honor of this ritualistic tradition I am taking this opportunity to submit some of my favorite discoveries I made over the last month. We can all agree there are few things more exciting than stumbling upon a bands or records that absolutely crush. A sound so good it pukes venom over your jaded soul and gives you those teenage movie theater hand job feels. The riffage and atmosphere are so grim you can literally hear it speaking to you. Without telling anyone you are secretly ashamed and slightly embarrassed you survived this long without knowing about it. 

Let us dine in hell with this seasons selections.

CREPUSCULUM (POLAND)

 

Crepusculum "Illuminatis"



no way......

...NO FUCKING WAY!

IS THIS REAL!?

THIS IS REAL!

WERE NOT WORTHY! WERE NOT WORTHY!

For the first time in Black Metal Fitness history we have a physical specimen worthy of sincere praise and adoration. In all my years of black metal, never have I seen a mortal so sinister and swollen. I was MIRIN' so hard I had to share all photos from the photo shoot. If only just to lay to rest suspicions of good lighting and "intentional flex angles". The muscle is real and its impressive. Scope that vintage bodybuilder pose in the third photo. He knows what he's doing. I see you. Hitting us with viscous Lat Spread in the night time forest. So advanced you cant even calculate it. He is

black metals bastard son of Peter Steele.  As if the look wasn't enough to sell you on how hard this band is the record is equally impressive. I heard them before I saw them. Its like Ghost, except instead of just looking cool these dudes also have a record that rules. Once my eyes laid bare upon that chiseled V-shaped torso I knew it was a sign from the iron underworld. A blog update was due.

 Punishing, satanic black metal. Its bench press approved! I fucking love Poland. Ground zero for buff, metal euros.

MGLA (POLAND)

Mgla "Exercises In Futility"

Mgla Poland

Under Craft, Mgla is my all time favorite black metal band. Their new record "Exercises In Futility" just came out. Its even better than "With Hearts Toward None" and was well worth the five year wait. Front to back its a certified unholy banger. The lyrics are sooooo good too. No a single glimmer of hope for the reader. Its dark. Its the Paradise Lost or Divine Comedy of black metal. Its poetic, its unrelenting, its my favorite record of 2015. Get into this band and especially this record. They are playing Chicago this Thursday on their first ever US tour and I am going to see them. TAKE ME TO CHURCH! v stoked.

PLAGA ( POLAND)

Plaga "Magia Gweiznej Entropii"



A midsection as tight as his faith in Satan.

Another bad ass band from Poland with a buff lead singer. GET SOME! Poland is exporting some righteous beef cakes. The recording quality for most of their catalog is pretty weak, but the songwriting and atmosphere easily make up for that. All their stuff is in Polish, I don't know what it means but I know its good.

CHALICE OF BLOOD (SWEDEN)

Chalice of Blood "Helig, Helig, Helig"

no physical aesthetics, but strong black metal aesthetics.


MEPHORASH (SWEDEN)

Mephorash "1557 - Rites Of Nullification"



Coming at you live from the Asbestos tent.

summoning the strength to abstain from putting sour cream on your double chicken burrito bowl.

They have a new record out. Its the only thing I have heard from them but I instantly fell in love with it. The singer use to be in Ofermod which is a highly underrated, incredibly satanic band I love. They were your classic 2nd wave black metal band with members in and out of prison for random acts of violence and heresy. Anyway, Their black metal is a little slowed down in the best way possible. Very primal chanting and drum banging. The last four tracks are called "Null" and its literally just 6 seconds of silence. Some kinda Davinci Code shit I guess. Like if I unlock the timed code I can find the blueprints of Stonehenge.  Supreme production value. Heavy and laden with occult shit. you love it.

LEICHENGOTT (POLAND)

leichengott



motherfuckin corpse paint and good lighting. A match forged in HELL!

Honestly material on this one is nothing memorable. They are not on Spotify, so you really gotta earn this listen by slumming it on YouTube. I shared them with you strictly for the buff singer.

HAEMOTH (FRANCE)

Haemoth "Slaying The Blind"




Your mother was a hamster and your father stank of Elderberries!


Excerpt from the bands bio. The only thing that needs to be said about this awesome record.

"HAEMOTH supports all that can contribute to the ruin of the human being - every form of vice - and doesn't give a fuck what means is used to achieve this.
All forms of depravity, destruction and hate must be preached.
HAEMOTH encourages every act, physical or spiritual, which can contribute to decline, blasphemy or pain.
To become one with Him, inner death is inevitable.The weak ones don't have their place here. May they burn in Hell ..."




Drinking the tears of my enemy.

STAY GRIM. HIT THE GYM.

 

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"Grant us your powers of annihilation. Crush the skinny fat prophet, death to fad diet faith!"

Many hails to all my fellow die-hard servants of the Iron Underworld. I'm coming in hot on tonight's post. Armed to the teeth with motivation, purpose, direction, and dark sided pictures to look at. A lot has been happening in the BMF camp as of late. Eager to spread the gospel with all my brethren. So lets start spilling blood right now.

There is plenty of light to shine toward the mortal figures of man. The summer harvest of gains and thickness has been bountiful this season. The seeds of rusted iron that we planted in the throes of winter have now fully blossomed and are ripe for picking. The Weightlifting Lords have heard our cries and accepted our offerings. In return the Iron Lords have rewarded our devotion to the Barbell Temple with new PR's, new max's, better form, stronger diets, chiseled physiques, bigger muscles, stronger minds, and improved focus. If you are reading this post I hope you are one of the peasants who struggled day in and day out through winter anticipating this summer. This is your season to flex on the weak betas and false alphas of this shit planet. Enjoy your harvest. You fucking earned it. If you are disappointed in your harvest and wish you planted more seeds and tended to your crops properly then I must say to you "preparing for failure is the same as failing to prepare."

TO KNOW THE ENEMY IS TO KNOW THYSELF.

I assume you have identified the poisonous people and threats to your well being. I hope you have shown your enemies no remorse, no mercy, with pity for none and hate for all on path to carving the giant that is your frame. I also hope you have provided help, coaching, motivation, while mentoring your gym brethren. The light of physical strength is there for all who choose to see. All you must do is open your eyes. For we are nothing without each other. Our enemies will not speak of our strength, they will speak of our weakness and exploit it to eliminate us. THIS is why we spend our waking hours and channel all of our energy into heavy weights, strange food, and mirrors. We must give our enemies nothing to speak of. They will speak with the words of a mute that will fall on the ears of the deaf. They will only tear themselves down while we build ourselves up and protect our hunt.Let all those who stand in our way of physical and mental strength gains be vanquished and shallow buried into unmarked graves. We have no pity for those who oppose in the same way we have no pity for the weights. We are trained to kill both.

Caravaggio was calling for heads back in the 1500's. goddamn if did he didn't paint some vicious depictions of enemies getting served cold. murder boner achieved.

USING THE TOOLS TO BUILD

Tools are needed to build an empire. We must lay our heads down before the creators of human history and give them praise. They have suffered so we can survive. You may ask yourself "what tools?" I speak of infinite resources at your disposal. Its 2015...WE HAVE THE NET. The internet is alive and well. Everyone can become an expert on anything now. no excuses. If you workouts suck, your progress sucks, your not getting the results you want. consult the net! find out something. anything. Its a fucking wormhole of information. Everyone is always talking about how every fitness article or advice contradicts every other article or advice. I wont argue that is incredibly true but that is not a free pass to say "fuck it. Im confused and I don't wanna try so I am out." 

What worked for the other guy may or may not work for you. Weightlifting is all about learning, growing, trying, and pushing. You gotta think like you are playing a chess game with your body. Your body is fucking Garry Kasparov and you are nobody. You must find ways to beat it and constantly reinvent yourself to stay one move ahead.  Men who do not lift, their bodies control them. Men who lift seriously, they control their bodies.

There will come a point your body will stop responding to your lifts because its part of its routine. This is when you zig instead of zag. Get out there and sniff out new lifts, new workouts, new gyms, new meals, or new ideas. Be open to anything that may improve your physique. If something doesn't work cross it off your list and move on. Ask my close friends and they will tell you I am always saying "its all relative" and really it is. if somethign doesnt feel right research it and try to self correct. If you cant seem to hit that 315lbs bench max get on the laptop and start searching tips on how to improve bench max. Try them. If they dont work then try something else. I feel like I really shouldn't need to type that. You must understand I am not trying to talk down on you. I am trying to remind you that what you need is there. You just have to do the footwork.

Whether you lift with a tight group of experienced brothers or are the only person in your entire backwoods village in the butt hole of Indiana who even attempts to lift weights. (all alone) The results you make are on you. All the support, knowledge, and friends in the world wont make you strong. You have to do it yourself. You ultimately do every single lift, curl, push, press, pull, squat, and pause all by yourself. Its you versus the everything. Get that in your head now. Its your fight. Time to fucking finish it. GET SOME!!

Here I am doing Lat pulldowns at my gym (ROCKWEL BARBELL CHICAGO IL) with three of my absolute best friends/blood brothers with me. I love these men and they have helped me so much but, as you can see from this photo, I am all alone. I am the man who has to pull that weight. none more powerful than me. I am an island. photo by: Chris Fowler

At the risk of being melodramatic being in the weight room is like survival. You have to adapt if you wanna stay alive. You must evolve, adapt, and overcome. Try everything you want (and a few you dont) to make yourself stronger and smarter. 

How I feel when I am walking into the gym on a Friday night. A night when everyone else is spending money they don't have, at bars they hate, with people they don't really know. I am the masked intruder ready to break and enter the gym. I will walk to the weights with the mindset of a violent thief. I will take what I want. I am GOD.

If you ever wanna light a fire under your nubile ass and be ready to fucking crush the weights then do yourself a favor and watch this incredibly "real talk" speech given by Alec Baldwin from Glengary Glennross. Even if you have seen it already. Give it another view. I promise it gets better with every watch.

"The leads are weak? The fucking leads are weak? Your weak!"

  

aye dude thanks for collecting all your excuses on why you aren't in the shape you wanna be in together in this pile. I got the answer to all your excuses.... *proceeds to light the excuses on fire and then stab the fire with a knife.  His buddies keep things entertaining by reciting ritual chants of Lucifer and all his magnificent power.

 

 If you need to convince yourself that your lack of progress is someone elses fault (i.e work, being poor, being fat, not knowing where to start) then you have a lot of work if you want to run with the herd. The rest of the world is moving fast and you are standing still. Letting the strong wolves get ahead of you while you drift into the back. 

In a group of wolves the slowest and weakest wolves make up the rear end of a pack. When they are threatened they flea together. The predator will seek chase. The wolves in the rear will be the first to die in the teeth of the predator. They couldn't keep up and because of that they paid a heavy price....their life. No other proof is needed to get strong and stay strong. If you are not in the front you better be as close as you fucking can to leading the herd. Because when the hunt is on and your instincts kick in if you cant maintain with the alpha, you are fucking dead.

Where do you see yourself in this pack?

go on.....

Life Goals.

Relationship Goals.

The founders/employees of Rockwell Barbell. Chicago's premier rehabilitation center. Dedicated to transforming yesterdays skinny fat, bar crawler, beta boys into tomorrows bar bending, battle tested, men of the future. Ready, willing, and able to lead from the front.

wanna share this quote my buddy Eugene dropped today at Rockwell Barbell during our Floor Press burn outs. "We want to take people from being at the bar to being under the bar."

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SATANIC GAINS. some exercises you may be missing out on.

Of the nine circles of Hell the weight room is by far by favorite.

 This post is a collection of some of my all time favorite lifts. Exercises that I always try work into my long range routine. These lifts have either helped me over come injury, improved muscle imbalance, enhanced my physique, or helped me reach a new PR on the REAL lifts. All of the featured lifts here I highly encourage you to try em out. They worked very well for me and I hope the same for you. I will be excluding the Big Three from this list because if you are not tracking those lifts are mandatory for real strength gains then you are hanging out with the wrong people or reading the wrong books. Get new friends and burn your books. 

V BAR PULLDOWN

in this photo the meathead is facing out for photo purposes. When you do this please face toward that machine. Its not necessary to draw attention to yourself in the gym. Let your muscles speak for themselves. BMF does not support the "water cooler runway". Stay in your corner, stay focused, and build your temple.

I rarely see anyone doing this in the gym. Well, I guess I should say "used to." At Rockwell Barbell the boys there know the drill. Before I lifted here I spent many years lifting at all kinds of gyms. Mainly military gyms on post, Cheetah Gym in Chicago, and Anytime Fitness in Olympia WA. Able to get a good read on dudes who were serious and who weren't. Anytime I saw a guy reaching for the v-bar I knew he was die hard.

This variation on the lat pull down has been a blessing for me. I give this exercise almost all the credit for sculpting my back, which I believe to be my strongest and best looking feature of my body. Watch the video below about proper lat pull down technique. This video was very helpful for me. Its short, contains no filler, he knows how to properly speak, and most importantly he is right. The dude hits the nail on the head with his explanation of the best form and why the V-Bar pull down builds a wider lat than the classic pulldown. He spends the later half of the video praising the merits of close grip pulldown and I could not agree more with him.

Another pro for this lift is you can move considerably more weight vs. classic lat pull down. So many guys sell themselves short on their back lifts. You will be surprised at how strong your back actually is. Test yourself and treat this like a deadlift. Get pumped up and dialed in. Attack the lift with hatred. This lift is incredibly satisfying mentally when you move that pin closer and closer to max capacity. 

RECOMMENDED FOR: making your traps cast shadows, making your friends yell out "Shredded Wheat" when they see you from behind, and getting that "tree stump" muscle in the middle of your back.

PRO TIP: Don't get into the mindset that accessory lifts are easy lifts. Treat every exercise as an extension of your strongest lift. Get serious and make yourself sweat. No exercise you preform in the weight room should be treated as Hotel Collection 1,000 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton 4-piece Bedding Set.

REAR DELT MACHINE 

Dude is so buff his head is fucking outside the frame of the photo. Muscles that transcend space and time....IM MIRIN'

Its not often that I give praise to the machines so if I do then you know its legit. This one really helped me overcome a nagging shoulder injury. For about a year and a half I could not do flat bench barbell work. Even 135lbs sent my shoulder screaming. I was forced to admit that the pain was to real and severe to push through. The cruel and unforgiving Iron Lords banished me to the wasteland of dumbells. Toiling among common folk, 5- day biceps bros, and iPhone curlers. It was weird and it sucked. Being robbed of glory from one of the "Original Six" lifts was embarrassing. I was turned onto this lift from one of my elite Army brothers. It is fun to do because after just one set your entire rear delt looks like a tumor. This muscle just activates and grows immediately.

My shoulder injury actually healed early on but I did not realize it because I was still feeling pain. Turns out I had over developed front delts. This is actually quite common. I spent three weeks incorporating this lift on all shoulder and chest days. Its like i was touched by the noodley appendage of the Spag Monster himself. I was cured. I went back to the flat bench after 18 months off and it was like someone gave me a new shoulder. Since then I have been very conscious over my rear delts and always keep them active. 

You can do DB bent over lateral raises if you do not have access to this machine but I warn you if your form is even a little off you will completely miss the rear delt. R. delt is a tricky son of a bitch. You gotta walk your rounds onto the target. Its different for everybody because every persons build is unique (not special snowflake neat. you are not special or important. Dont confuse my use of unique for your vein attempt to express yourself.) I like the machine because you can adjust the seat and toss a few reps around to zero in on your target muscle. 

RECOMMEND FOR: anyone who has nagging shoulder issues, over developed front delts, people not afraid of machines, men looking to make their T-shirts wear them instead of you wearing the T-shirt.

2 Kettle bell Front Squat

Kettle bells: the new yoga mat.

I am very green to the ways of the kettle bell but I have a keen interest in trying to incorporate them into my future routines. The first and only time so far I have ever used one was for this exercise. Crossfitters have shit and pissed on this vintage piece of strongman iron for the better part of a decade. What use to be synonymous with chest hair and communist Zangiff's in their backyard selling bootleg VHS tapes of their routines has now been reduced to a neon colored paper weight with foam comfort grips and soundproofing padded bottoms that fence walkers swing between their legs for "time" on a padded mat with their coach. Good to see some workhorses taking this back" bag of iron" from those busters.

Absolutely fucking killer. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. This lift fucked me up with some truth that my midsection was weak and my core is a bag wet bread. You feel this activate your entire core on the first rep. Its awesome. Not bullshitting you this is one of the harder exercises I have encountered in all my time in the weight room. Tough to do but man is it rewarding. 

CHECK THIS SIMPLE AND INFORMATIVE WEBSITE FOR BENEFITS AND PROPER EXECUTION OF THIS LIFT.

RECOMMENDED FOR: deadlift and squat improvement, core stability, building midsection stamina for big lifts, someone looking to shake up their routine and add something new to the fold. Also suggested for sadomasochists who need to get watery eyed in pain when they jerk off in most positions.

SPRINTS

Rugby butts drive me nuts. Im getting inside of that scrum and never leaving.

I don't really fucks wit cardio. I'm not fast-n-hard anti-cardio, I'm just more along the lines of it has its place and time. That being said if you are craving a sweat sesh after a hard nights drinking, a running junkie who refuses to quit cardio, or looking to turn up your heart rate then sprints are for you. 

Sprints are incredibly beneficial because they directly apply to real world situations and greatly enhance your rate of survival. In your life you will NEVER have to run 6 miles in one direction for ANY REASON other than because you want to. You may at some point in your life have to: sprint from someone trying to attack/rob you, sprint away from gun fire (or toward it depending on profession), sprint to catch the train before it leaves, sprint to the aid of your family or friends when they are in distress, sprint toward your enemy when you spot him inside you sector, sprint toward the TV's at the local mega chain store on black Friday, sprint toward the goal line in football or rugby, sprint off a cliff to get maximum air when you land in that body of water. Do you see what I am getting at here? There is one reason for long distance running. Just one. But just listed of like 7 things for short and fast running. Off top.

Sprints are not a hard sell. They are vital to our survival as a species. Its primal. Its ingrained into our goddamn genetics for fucks sake. (fight-or-flight response)

RECOMMENDED FOR: People who want to live, those who want to enhance the human species,  and poor people.

most of my friends life story.

WEIGHTED PULL-UPS

Further proof that lifting accessories are overrated not necessary to achieve strength.

If you cannot do a single pull-up than skip this lift and reevaluate you entire existence. Weighted pull ups are not only fun but provide just the right amount of challenge. I usually use a 25 or 35 pound weight or dumbbell. You can wrap chains around your neck if you wanna go Prison Yard style, you can hold a dumbbell between your feet, or tie the weight around your waist. so man different ways to do it. If you can do a few pull ups and you want to be able to knock out more than fart out a couple of these every list session despite what muscle group you are hitting. After like wo weeks when you go back to regular pull ups you will feel dramatically lighter. A great way to trick yourself into doing more reps than you think you can. The mind is a very weird thing. Your mind is what holds you back from making a lift 85% of the time. I truly believe that.

RECOMMEND FOR: people who wanna take photos of themselves looking hard, pull-up improvement, and sculpting/building abs,

CHAINS ON FLAT BENCH

Any excuse to use chains in the gym should be taken. They work best with flat bench IMO. I love throwing some chains on the end of the bar after a long bench session. Looking for that burnout bonus. Helps you get past a sticking point you may have in your attempt to achieve a new max. The weight gets lighter as the chains coil on the floor but as you push up the weight increase. The odd size of the weight really makes things interesting when your grinding out the last few reps. Get some!

RECOMMENDED FOR: everyone.


DUMBBELL TRICEP PRESS/EXTENSION

Is this Dana Carvey?

This is a great way to build up intimidating thickness in your arms. Ive been doing these for a long time. I can hit 110lbs. If you have any elbow issues I would either steer clear of this one or only hit a medium weight. Again, this is a lift best served heavy.  You can aggravate your elbows fairly easy when moving heavy weight. I prefer seated because it takes all other muscles out of the picture. You can do this one standing if you'd like. It will activate some of your core and legs. Keep your midsection tight when lifting it while on your feet. That way you are getting a 2-for-1 deal. Don't sell yourself short. Everyone's triceps are incredibly strong and resistant. If you wanna make your arms "fill out" and connect with the other arm muscles for that thick looks then add this to your arsenal.


CLOSE GRIP DUMBBELL PRESS

I don't know whether to place this into triceps or chest. Regardless it hammers each of em. You can almost feel your sternum stretching and widening with each set. My Unholy Trinity brethren Dan (IG: @grateful_dan) and Marino (IG:thatsalotofblood) turned me on to this move. Keep the weights together then move them slow on the downward and explosive on the push up. You can go incline too if you are feeling frosty. These are a good addition to the end of workout. No necessarily a burn out but really requiring every fiber to activate. I get a better pump and burn out of this when I go heavy. I suggest you grab a weight that is about 70% of your ability. In my experience the light weight, while still tough,  just didn't give me the same intensity.

RECOMMEND FOR: end of workout jam session, people who want to build that medial crease in the pecs, people not afraid to die.



"Some people would rather live in shit than be seen holding a shovel. I am not one of them. Pass me that fucking shovel."

screen shot of my mind en route to the gym.

vintage hammer curls.

It just wouldn't be a BMF blog post without a Mad Max, weightlifting, metalhead laying down the heavy metal law among his slave babes. When will this trend cycle back into fashion? The youth need weightlifting metal mentors now more than ever.

The Rockwell Barbell Squad cutting loose on the 4th of July. From left to right: Me aka Satanic Royalty, Marino aka The Muscely Medic, Hugene, Dan aka Prison Wallet or Mexican Henry Rollins, and Lawerence the heart, the black soul, the architect of Rockwell Barbell aka Lars, Big L, or Papa Pump.

 If you are a serious weightlifter, powerlifter, or a beautiful woman who is stronger than all of your girlfriends in or around Chicago and looking for a new weight room applications for the 2015 season to become a Prospect at Rockwell Barbell are now being accepted. Follow us on Instagram if you are trying to sniff out the kind of mentality we are carving. RB is trying to bring some new faces into the fold. Serious inquires only. If you can deadlift a horse or overhead press a human corpse we want to talk to you!  IG: rockwellbarbell

Even if you aren't looking for a new gym come follow us. If you are passing through the city and interested in getting in a few sessions shoot me an email and we will welcome you as our guest. Show this independently owned and operated blue collar gym in Chicago some love. share the profile with all your gay jock cockboy friends who need to get their ass into the proper mentality to build a cold hearted killer.

End of demo.

STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM.

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