I am Not a Fat Girl: I am FEARLESS.

It has been one year since I started Fitness Blondie. I never thought I would be where I am today while writing this post. Life is very different. 

I decided to take a few moments to look back and look ahead. I started this blog because I was adamantly stalking Danielle's. I read an article about her frugal ways on Yahoo! After that, I loved reading about her little family and day-to-day happenings, so I decided to start a blog. Also, thank you to the queen bee herself, Raven for taking me under her wing last year. She is my number 1 source of page views of all time. Sponsoring her blog is affordable and pays off, big time. Now she is one of my closest friends. She also makes me scared to ever take a selfie ever again. Seriously? Leave it to Raven.

I cannot believe it has been a year now. I do not know if you noticed, you probably haven't, but it has only been about 6 months or so since my blog has changed a lot. That is because I have changed so much. I am not near the woman as I was a year ago. And damn, it feels good to say that. 

I have slowly transformed back into the person I know I am meant to be. It's hard. It is exhausting. But it is the best thing I have been through in my entire life. As crazy as this sounds, this blog has basically documented all of my recent changes. It has brought me so much happiness. Sure, it has not all been great, but that happens when more and more people hear about you and you share the good, bad, and ugly. I do not just share the good times, I openly write about pain and struggles. People making fun of you, trying to pull you down, and not liking you, comes with the territory. The good thing about that - it can make you stronger. It has me. It's made my skin that much thicker and my work ethic that much better. Most of all, "Fitness Blondie" has allowed me to connect and meet so many amazing people. I have the best friends through blogging and writing, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for believing in me and inspiring me so much. The emails, the comments... you guys make the journey so worth it. 

When I hit the "new post" icon button, it is the best feeling. A white screen is liberating to me. I always have things I want to say and write. And I thank you guys for coming back to read, laugh, cringe, and follow along. I remember writing this post  last summer; and I am extremely thankful to look back and say I feel like I have a purpose now. I feel like there is hope. I feel like for once, my dreams are within in reach. IF I continue to work extremely hard and put in the dedication it requires. Which means giving up a lot of social and personal things. Ironically, that has fallen into place. Fate took a hold of that.

"Fitness Blondie" will hopefully keep growing. I am going to keep on with my weight loss journey, and then once the remaining 40ish pounds are off that I want to lose, it will be the maintaining stage. Which is going to be forever. It will hard, rewarding, and make me more creative and smart. 

OK, enough rambling. Now I want to get to the point...

Recently I started working on a new project. One that I have wanted to do for about 4 years, but have not been ready. Now I may have the platform to successfully do so. It is called "Fearless".

All of my life I remember being known for my looks. I believe a lot of people are if there is something "unique" or "different" about them. Mine just happened to be: "Oh the fat girl?". Years and years and years of "the heavyset girl", "the fat girl", "the big one with classes".

When I was in high school and bullying heavily began, I stayed true to myself. The people would tease me about my looks, my clothes. Yet, I never changed. A family member even told me once "Well if you're being bullied so much because of how you look and how you dress, why don't you change it?". There was no way in hell that was going to happen. I would rather take the bullying than change who I am. So that is what I did. Every year I still did my schools talent show... be it singing, gymnastics/acrobatics, or dancing. Regardless of how many people laughed or made fun of me. Because I loved it. Every Spring I would choreograph and song to dance or sing too. I remember in 5th grade I did a ballet dance to the "Little Mermaid" and in 8th grade I danced to Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know?" (Anna, remember making the shirt that had my name on it? Ha!) You know, I probably looked a flaming hot mess out there on stage, but I did it because it was fun and I enjoyed it. I have a crazy, happy, positive outlook on life, even with the pain and struggles I have been through. That is because I know there are SO many people who have it worse than I. I thank God everyday for waking me up, in my apartment that I love so much, with my health, with the ability to go to work, to live in a country where I am free to dream and chase, and where my worth and value is not measured by marriage. I can go and make anything happen. That is why is despite hardships and pain, I love my life. I never let pain or problems take over my mind, I let the solutions and moving past it, take over. 

The led me to create FEARLESS. Because I am not a fat girl. I am not a fit girl. I am a girl who is FEARLESS. 

"I Am Not a Fat Girl: I am Fearless" is going to be an overall guide and story. It's going to be about the first 24 years of my life, overcoming food addiction, the power of positive thinking, health and well-being, exercise, recipes, and more. It is by an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, with an extraordinary story to tell. It is to help anyone; black, white, male, female, young, cold, purple, blue, happy, sad... anyone, get through hard times with a cheap, realistic, and raw approach. My mission, as crazy and stupid as some may think it is, is to help people make the best out of their life. I hate seeing people hurt. I hate seeing people hate themselves. I hate seeing people suffer. I know what ALL of that is like. And because I do, I don't want anyone to go through it. I may be doing a small effort that no one will ever pay attention too, but at least I try.
 

No matter what you go through in life, who you are, who you want to be...

Be FEARLESS.