On Traveling Alone

This weekend I traveled to DC alone, because I wanted to go to DC and run the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile race. So I did. I often travel alone. It's not that my friends don't want to travel, or to come with me, or to support me. They just don't have time, or the money. That's okay though. I realized some time ago that if I wanted something, I needed to get it myself. I have to work for it; I have to plan it; I have to do it. Myself. This is not to say that if someone said they would come with me to DC I would have been unhappy. I wouldn't have. I would have loved it. However, I have learned not to hold my breath.

I guess this makes me sound kind of jaded. Well I am. Some people make time to read; some people spend their money on shoes or booze or a cruise. I spend both time and money on travel and lately, I have been spending it a lot on running. Signing up for races, traveling to get there, paying the price to stay where I am running (or hopefully having a friend to stay with) adds up. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I love it, both the travel and the running. Two things I can and will do alone.

A while back, the NY Times published an article about living alone and how weird you get when you do it. This article went to extremes, using examples such as people who talked to themselves, didn't always leave the house fully clothed, who left the bathroom door open or ate strange foods at strange times.

I admit, this trip as well as most of them, does make me realize that I do have some quirks. I like eating when I am hungry and not having to worry about when someone else is hungry, or the plans someone else has made. I don't always eat "real meals". I can have 3 apples and a carton of yogurt for dinner (ie I like eating strange foods at strange times).

I like going to the museums and deciding, after being trampled by 6 million elementary school children, that I want to leave, and go get a hot dog (which I will eat standing up, on the sidewalk, at a weird time of day).

I like stopping to take millions of photos of one tree (is that weird?), and not having someone trailing ahead of me, sighing heavily. I like doing what I like to do, and not having to worry about anyone else (and I like leaving the bathroom door open. What's wrong with that?)

Does this make me selfish? Yes. I am listing extremes, of course. On the other hand, I like planning out which museums to see with someone, and having their ideas, which you didn't even consider, turn out to be your favorite part of the trip. I like trying new things, that I may not try alone, not out of fear but out of ignorance. I like having someone to share exciting new discoveries with. I even like sharing a meal, at a regular time of day, sometimes.

So, I figured out how to have it all. Mr Lovely, who did not come with me, was subjected to a barrage of text messages and photos of "cool stuff". I frequently updated him on which museum I was in, which one of the 6 million kids were annoying me, or how cold it was before the race. He helped me decide to go to the Museum of American History (cool) but I vetoed his vote for Air and Space (I've been there several times already). Luckily, he is very patient and is a good sport and he even responded once or twice.

So, through the miracle of technology, I can still be alone but I can still share the joy, some of the decisions and...(blurry photos of) a strange meal in a strange place at a strange time.

Do you travel by yourself? What is your favorite/least favorite part of traveling alone? Who is your faraway text buddy when you have something to share?

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Less is More

The other day, this girlwrote a post about being a minimalist. She spoke of people who had packed up their entire life into one car and drove off into the sunset. She said that sometimes she wishes she could be like that, but on the other hand wanted to know if we thought it was wrong to want stuff.  She asked us if we were “minimalists”.  It really got me thinking.  Am I? And is it wrong to want stuff? This question is especially prevalent during the holidays.

I have mentioned before that I live in a hotel most of the time. Let me explain. Roughly 7 years ago, I gave up my (much loved) apartment in San Francisco, put all my stuff into storage (Yes it all fits. I gave my furniture all to my brother) and headed to Europe for an adventure extraordinaire! Six months later, my savings had run out and I came back home, wondering…now what? 

But yes…now what? The great part was that I had no ties. I could go anywhere I wanted. I thought about joining the Peace Corps (I still think about that from time to time). Of course I had friends in the Bay Area, but they had lived without me for six months, so they could stand a few more. So I was all of a sudden at this wonderful and horrible place, where the world was my oyster. I could do what I wanted.

I just had to figure out what that was.

It is very freeing to not have a lot of stuff. You have nothing holding you back. You don’t have to make sure the dog is in the kennel or the kids have a babysitter. You don’t have to worry about moving boxes and boxes of books, a couch and a bedroom set down 3 flights of stairs. All of these things sway your decision making process. They make it a lot easier to remain right where you are. However, having no excuses NOT to do something is hard too. We are used to letting our responsibilities, our friends, our THINGS, make our decisions for us. Making a decision without these factors is strange (and difficult!). 

People always say,” Man, If only I didn’t have (to) _________ I would go with you to Europe”. But would they? It’s not like I twisted your arm and MADE you buy that new ____ which is now making it so you can’t afford the trip. It’s not like I signed you up for a 6 week ______ class so now you don’t have the time. You chose that. You chose that over the trip to Europe.

They also say, “I would totally love to have your lifestyle” (living out of a hotel, having all their stuff in storage, traveling).  But they really wouldn’t. Could you live out of a suitcase 9/10 of the year? Could you wear one pair of shoes and 2 pairs of pants for the next year? Could you avoid buying things so you don’t have to lug them around? 

I sometimes want to putter but I have no place to do so. I want to have a mindless activity such as re-organizing my already organized closet/bookshelf/pantry.  But then I sit and actually think about it, and I don’t really need that. I like having no clutter, nothing holding me back. If that means I can’t re-read my favorite book or wear that great red suede jacket I bought on sale at Nordstrom, so be it. I can do what I want, when I want. I can go wherever I want or need to at basically a moment’s notice. 

At the point in my life when I came back from Europe, I could do whatever I set my mind to. But. I was out of money. So in this case I could do anything I wanted, but I would have to somehow get money. Why would I need to get money? I needed to live. I needed food. For that I would need an apartment, and then I would need a fridge. Then I would have to buy food. So to get money I would need a job. To get a job, I might need something other than the one pair of shoes and the holey pants I had been wearing for the last several months. 

So, we’ve come back full circle. In order to live, we DO need a certain amount of stuff. In order to exist in society, we need stuff. So, we buy things. We buy what we want. We DO what we want. And then sometimes we use those things to be our beard for why we don’t do or can’t do other things (that maybe we don’t want to do?) We say we “have too much stuff” when in reality what we have is the stuff we choseto have. 

So, stop hiding behind your stuff. Stop making excuses. Do what YOU want. If it’s buying 100 new t-shirts a year, or every new gadget that Best Buy has to offer, or a Pottery Barn candle holder in every different color, do it. If it’s signing up for pole dancing classes or the gym, if it’s buying a new house or car, or if it’s traveling, or going to a new restaurant, or going to a play, do it. If it makes you happy, do it! And then be happy with the decision that you have made. 

I don’t think it’s a matter of how much stuff we have, but whether or not that stuff we have makes us happy. We can have fewer sweaters if we want to save our money for travel, or we can have more sweaters but not be able to afford that vacation. You can buy things in order to check them off your "I should have this" list, or you can buy them becuase they make you happy. You choose. 

It’s a matter of quality, not quantity. 

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Today I am being featured over at The Many Thoughts of a Reader. Go and check it out HERE!

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Are you a minimalist? Do you think that it is better to be a minimalist?

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The Act of Giving Thanks

When I was a child, my mother made me write Thank You Notes like there was no Tomorrowto anyone who gave me a gift. After every Christmas, Birthday or Random event, I would sit down with my list and write a note to each person saying thank you for each thing that they gave me. I had to write down each thing, because if you wrote a note to my grandmother saying, “thanks for all the gifts” or, “thanks for the doll” when in fact she gave you a doll AND a necklace, you would get a phone call from Grandma saying, “DIDN’T YOU GET THE NECKLACE I SENT?!”

So I got into the habit of writing Thank You notes. I realize many people never were forcedrequired to do this as a child, so they are not in the habit of doing it as an adult. However, I am of the mindset that a thank you, whether it is verbal, emailed or written in the sky with smoke signals, is warranted, no matter what. If someone gives you a gift, if they take the time to think of you, I think it is only fair to do the same by simply thanking them.

However, this does not always happen. I have sent people gifts and never heard from them. No phone call, no email, no smoke signals. They don’t even mention anything the next time I see them. It’s like it didn’t even happen. Where are their manners? Maybe their mother didn’t teach them to write thank you notes, but weren’t they taught to say thank you if someone gives you something? Don’t you learn this when you are a child? Even at the dentist, after he roots around painfully in your mouth, you say thank you when he gives you the lollypop afterwards. Don’t you?

I would like to blame technology and the internet, but in all actuality, shouldn’t this make it EASIER, not harder, to send a simple note, in the form of a text message, a phone call, or an email (or a tweet or a FB post or…)? Now we have more ways, not less, to say thank you. So why isn’t it happening?

I am appreciative to people who say thanks. So, thank you to all of you who are good at saying thank you! And if you are one of those people that sometimes get too busy to say thank you, maybe you should get off Facebook or Twitter for 27 seconds and send your friend/grandmother/sister a text!

It only takes a minute to say thank you. Not only can it really make someone's day, but I also think it is just plain good manners.

Do you write thank you notes? Do you think that when giving a gift the pleasure of just giving it should be enough? Or would you like to be thanked?

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Hurry Up and Wait

I don’t talk about my work too much, since it’s not really appropriate. However (and isn’t there always a however), I want to talk a little bit about the waiting and the hurrying up.

I work on a temporary basis, contract by contract. I am like a freelance writer. But I am not a freelance writer. Wouldn’t that be cool though? Like a freelance writer, I get called up when there is a job (or story in their case) available. The boss sets the terms. For each contract, the initial work period is generally 90 days, and can be extended out to more, depending on the duration of the job. So, I agree to work for 90 days and then I jump on a plane to wherever the new job is and I start working. Hence the “hurry up”. Usually 72 hours or less (usually more like 24 hours) after I get a call, I am on a plane heading somewhere new.

Sometimes the work lasts 90 days. Sometimes it lasts for years. Usually, as long as I work at least the agreed upon 90 days, I can leave afterwards at any time. Generally, I do not leave after only 90 days; I would rather work as long as I can, since afterwards it is unknown as to how long I will have before the next contract.

Right now I am in the “wait” portion. This is where I have finished my last contract and am waiting for a call for the next. Each part has its ups and downs. Both the hurry up and the wait make it hard to plan the rest of your life. Will the current job last for 90 days or 900? Will I wait for days or weeks or maybe even months for the next job to come along? Financially, it can be hard. You work and save but you are not sure how much you need to save and then you have time off but you try to be frugal in case another job doesn’t come along soon.

Mentally, it is difficult. I gave up my (great) apartment in San Francisco because I couldn’t justify spending that much money each month on rent when I was never home. So, all my things are in storage and when I am in between jobs I stay with my parents. This is fine for a few weeks, but when weeks turn into months I start to wonder what I am doing with my life. I start to think that maybe it is worth spending money each month, just to have a place to come home to and to call my own. Does anyone want to rent me a very nice apartment in San Francisco for less than $500? No? I didn’t think so.

Then I get the call again and I hurry out the door once more and my angst about needing space and a place to hang my hat goes by the wayside. New fears take its place. Remember when I talked about change? Starting over again every so often is hard. I end up in a strange place and don’t know the lay of the land or the people. This can be fun and exciting, but it can also be scary and tedious. It’s like a new relationship. First dates are fun and exciting, but isn’t it nice when you get to year one and you know everything about each other and you are comfortable? I sometimes get tired of going on yet another “first date” and having to ask the same questions over and over. I want to be comfortable.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s not very often that I am comfortable. Whether I am hurrying up or waiting, I am a little on edge. I am a little uncertain at all times. Will I get a job? When will I get one? Now that I have one, will I do a good job? Will I get along with the new client/boss/coworkers? How long will this last? Doubt is not fun. Luckily it is not always there. It comes and it goes. Just like me. Coming and going. Hurrying up and waiting.

Is there a situation where you have doubted yourself? What was the result?

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The World. The Wide. The Web.

I was flying out of Missouri the other day, looking out the airplane window at the flat, tree filled expanse below, and I thought, “Before I came here I never really knew much about Missouri.” Before I came to Missouri, I didn’t realize it would have huge limestone bluffs. I did not know that in the fall, the colors would be so beautiful. I did not understand that there were (smallish) mountains here. I did not realize that they grow almost as much corn and soybeans as Iowa. I was unaware that there are hiking trails and running trails and wineries. Wineries! I did not know any of that.

But you know that. Because I have posted photos and wrote things about many of these things. If I didn’t post anything, someone has. Somewhere on the internet you may have seen something about one or all of the above things.

The internet has been good in this aspect. It has broadened our horizons. It has made us realize what is out there, in the great big world. It has made what once was unknown more accessible. For this, I love the internet. I may have never known that I wanted to travel to Bhutan without the internet. I would not keep in touch with and go visit some of my friends who I have met while traveling. I would not know that there was such a thing as diving with great white sharks, hiking in the fjords of New Zealand, or eating rotten whale meat in Iceland.

I read a lot, so some of these things I may have found out through books, but I think the internet has opened us up to so much. I don’t have to buy a whole book about The World’s Largest Animals. I can just Google it and see what the top 5 are. I don’t need to buy a Glamor magazine full of ads when I can see in a glance what the latest fashions are.

However, sometimes I also think that the Internet has caused us to learn less. Why bother learning the capitols of the 50 states when you can just Wikipedia it? Why bother calling your Mom to ask her who starred in Kiss Me Kate, when you can IMDB it? How many riveting discussions have been cut short by a quick look at Google?

I still have mixed feelings about the internet. Sometimes I think that you don’t really need to know everything off hand and having Google can be a blessing. On the other hand, are we too reliant on the internet, so we are not bothering to remember anything anymore? Which of these things are important to learn yourself and which ones are okay to Google and forget?

Do you think that the internet has had a more positive or negative impact on society (or you personally)? In which way has the Internet helped you in your life? In which way has it made things worse?

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Deep Thoughts

One would think that when you are on a long run, you would have plenty of time to hash out some very important things, make some important life decisions and figure out all the problems in your life. In my case, one would be wrong. Here are, in chronological order, some of the things that go through my head on a run. This run was 9 miles long.

Mile 0.1: This isn't too bad. Thank goodness it's not too hot.

Mile 0.12: I have to pee.

Mile 0.4: (I stop at the bathroom. Nothing comes out.) Hm, guess I was just nervous.

Mile 0.5: My left knee hurts. Maybe I should stop.

Mile 0.7: Man, my knee is really hurting. Maybe I will do my long run tomorrow.

Mile 0.8: Should I stop? I will just run one more mile and then if my knee is still hurting, I will stop.

Mile 0.9: I really want to stop.

Mile 1.0: I'm thirsty.

Mile 1.5: Man, I've only gone a mile and a half? Crap. I gotta stop looking at my Garmin.

Mile 2.0: Everyone on this path sure is happy and smiley today.

Smile for me babe. 
Whatchu looking at?
I wanna see your grill.
You wanna see my what?
Yuh grill, Yuh, Yuh, yuh grill.

Mile 2.5: Well it is a nice day. Hello bikers! Hello joggers! Hello man wearing street clothes and smoking a cigarette on the running path at 7 am on a Sunday! Wait, what?

Mile 2.7: Darn it. I've only gone 2.7 miles? Maybe my Garmin is broken.

Mile 3.0: I need a wrist sweat band. Is that like totally 80s? Do people still wear those? Will I look like Jane Fonda if I have one? Do I have to wear a thong leotard and listen to Michael Jackson if I have one? Maybe I should feather my bangs too. Wow, this could be a lot of extra work just to get the sweat out of my eyes.

Mile 3.5: Am I to the turn around point yet? This run is taking forever. I gotta stop looking at my Garmin.

Mile 4.0: I'm hot. I should have started running earlier in the day.

Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm
I got the right temperature to shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, girl I got the right tactics to turn you on...
And girl I, wanna be the poppa, you can be the mom.
Oh oh. 

Mile 4.5: Turning around. Yay! Dang, I'm thirsty.

Mile 5.0: What the heck kind of shorts is that girl wearing? Helloooo butt cheeks! And a sports bra! What is this, a beauty pageant? Here she comes, Miss America!!

Mile 6.0: Hey only 3 miles left. Thank goodness I have my Garmin.

Mile 6.5: My right knee hurts now. 

Mile 7.0: Oh look, a doggie!

Who let the dogs out!! 
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. 

Mile 7.5: I am so tired. I think I just hit the wall. I could take a nap right here. 

Mile 8.0: Oh here come three girls running towards me taking up the whole path. One of them will get out of the way so I can pass. Maybe they will do it right before I get there. I know they see me. Huh. They are not moving. Um. Hello ladies? No?

Mile 8.1: Bitches! I can't believe they didn't move! Happy Sunday to you too ladies!

I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come and go, 
Saturday through Sunday, Monday
Monday through Sunday yo.

Mile 8.2: My knee hurts, I am so tired and I need to pee. And I have sweat in my eye.

Mile 8.5: Alllllmossssst thereeeerrrrre.

Mile 8.9: Pant, pant.

Mile 9.0: -------- So hot. So thirsty.

Mile 9.001: Hm. That wasn't so bad! 

So, as you can see, running is not really making me any smarter. But I am improving my knowledge of rap music, my meteorology skills, my fashion sense and my attitude.

Music credit: (1) Nelly (2) Sean Paul (3) Baha Men (4) Eminem 

What do you think about when you are running or working out? Are you solving world problems or do you think about silly things like I do? Have you ever worn a sweat band?  

In other news, I signed up for a race: 

City of Roses Half  -- Cape Girardeau, MO

September 18, 2011

You can read more about the other races I've done HERE. 

Also on THIS PAGE I made a list of  good places to run in the cities I've run  in. 

Stop by and check it out and comment with your favorite place to run in your city! Or any city!

This is part of Jill's:

Also, if you are new here, make sure to check out some of these other running posts:
Running with Music (and other ways to get faster)
Running with Heat and Fatigue
Running and Hills

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