Really Stupid Things I Always Say

Happy Friday my friends! It has been a long week for me and next week will be a really, hectic week with work. I am ready for it though! But I sure can't wait for the weekend. I jogged last night for 45 minutes straight on the greenway behind my apartment. I don't think my legs and hips have hurt this bad in a long time. It feels good, but ouch. Also, guess what? I am teaming up with Quest Nutrition and I am hosting a giveaway next week of Quest Bars. There will be not 1 winner, not 2 winners, but 3! You guys want them, you guys ask about them a lot, so you guys get them! Stay close!

Since it's Friday, today's blog entry will be light, fun and really stupid. Ha! After you read this post, I will probably show just how much a white girl I really am. We all have our weird sayings that we catch ourselves repeating constantly. Or maybe it's just to me? I get tormented, as I rightfully should, so I thought I would share my stupidness with you all. The only stipulation? You have to list yours as well, ha!

If you give me the side eye after reading this, that's fine. I am right there with you.

Sometimes when something is just so funny, I will comment saying only "dying". That just means what you have posted or written is beyond "LOL" or "LMAO" and even "LMFAO". I am just dying. I am dying of laughter and giggles.

This is the funniest of all of the funny. When I die, at something you said or wrote, it is because you killed me with laughter. You cannot top "Dying. Dead." in the world of hilarious.

Also said as "I literally cannot even deal with you right now". I mainly use that on my best friend Kelly because she is a basket case sometimes. When you have pushed me to where I "literally" cannot even "deal" with you or the issue, I am at the end. Do not speak of it around me anymore. 

I am so guilty of this. I say "OMG" at everything. EVERYTHING. If it's good, bad, great, happy, sad, painful, stupid, hilarious. EVERYTHING. Let's not get it confused though - it is not "oh my God", it is "oh my goa". My mama drilled into my head growing up to "never say the Lord's name in vain". I am 99% sure the first words I ever spoke as a baby were "oh my goa".

I often have to use this on my friends and family if they think I am full of crap with an idea or presenting something. "Y'all, we have to go. It really is legit". "No trust me, it tastes good. It's legit". "Don't be silly, it's a legit place". 

You know it's about to get deep when I hit you with "honestly..." or "seriously..."

Examples: Honestly... my hair is such a mess. Seriously... I hate my stomach. Honestly... you are being really stupid right now. Honestly... I don't want to do this. 

There are some days where I am just the hot mess express. I like to experiment with my hair and makeup and even lately - my fashion. And you know guys, sometimes it just doesn't work. Those times are when I just look at myself and think "I don't know what I am doing with my life". I also say this with awful recipes I have accidentally created and any random thing that will make you shake your head and say "what is she thinking?". Well, it's because... I don't know what I am doing with my life. 

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The 3 Best Ways EVER to Get Followers

We all love followers, right? There is no better feeling than waking up and seeing a new follower or two on GFC (still my personal favorite) or BlogLovin (meh). Or perhaps you sit at work all day refreshing your screen every 5 minutes and wait for your followers to grow...

Nonetheless, we all want grand blogs with stellar content that keeps everyone coming back for more. 

I have been a "lifestyle" Blogger for approximately 8 months now, therefore I know everything there is to know. 

Do you want more followers? Execute these 3 simple ideas:

1) Sell your soul.

Listen, Blogging is all about having the most beautiful pictures and showing off your amazingly clean house and your huba-roo who loves you more than life, worships the ground you walk on, and  feeds you breakfast in bed while rubbing your feet. Not to mention Jim Bob who is your 4 year old son and is currently training for the Olympics after piano, violin, and guitar lessons and currently reads on a 12th grade level. Don't forget the cheese pizza recipe that is only 12 calories a slice and will cause you to drop 45 pounds overnight. 

That is what we want to see. 

Do not write about your actual life, problems you have, obstacles you face, ideas, thoughts - none of that. Just give us the pictures and tell us how great your life is. That is what matters. 

2) It's all about the name brand

Like, ew. Who would not NOT wear designers? In order to post the above beautiful pictures that are a must on your blog, you have to have the props. Do you have a small house or apartment? List it tonight. Get out of there STAT. You need a big, extravagant house. Where else can you stage your amazing pictures? No one wants to see that skinny cheese pizza on a non granite counter. Furthermore, your clothes. You need to spend hours looking at fashion bloggers so you know what's in style. Don't forget your jewelry - Kate Spade all. the. way. A $128.00 bubble necklace is the one way to go, lady. If you don't have the cash for it, just take out another credit card. It's that easy. Then on your Erin Condren planner, make sure you pencil in (no, don't use a pencil, I'm sure there is a $45 pen on the market that is totes amaze) a daily Starbucks trip. Lastly, don't you dare post a picture with a bag less than a Coach. If you do not have money for those items, go in debt. Who cares? It's just a measly credit score.

Once you have all of this, you can then proceed with your amazing pictures. 

3) Don't pay your mortgage; host a giveaway instead.

Truthfully, your house will be OK without paying the mortgage for just one month. For example; if your mortgage is around $1,000 - imagine the giveaway you could host! Give away a Louis Vuttion bag, a laptop, or use all of that money towards a Starbucks giftcard - all of your followers could order as many mocha frap chocolate vanilla swirl latte's with nonfat creamer, skinny mint syrup, a dash of of Splenda with a hint of sugar, and a drop of lite cool whip on top as they want!

 Give something GREAT then your blog will be worth following. 

Giving away a Mercedes would be even better...

but lets not be outrageous here. 

**What fun is life if you can't laugh at yourself. I have Coach bags, Erin planners are cute, Starbucks is OK, I have grantite counter tops, and it would be so amazing if there truly was a pizza that was only 12 calories a slice. If you took any of this literal, please do not come back to my spot.  

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Why my mom should not have Facebook (part 3)

Yep. She is back again.

Part 3 of why my mother should not have Facebook.

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I can't even be nice to her.

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More:

Why My Mom Should Not Have Facebook (PART 1)

Why My Mom Should Not Have Facebook (PART 2)

The Hump Day Blog Hop returns this Wednesday! Wanna be my co-host?

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Why My Mom Should Not Have Facebook; (part 2)

Well my friends, it is time for Why My Mom Should Not Have Facebook; part 2. I did part 1 in June so if you have not had a chance to her prior antics, you can do so here. She is such a weirdo.

I accidentally bought some sex vitamins at GNC. My mom wanted them.

She is not a fan of "Honey Boo Boo". I deliberately replied to her posting that picture on my wall (she feels the need to share 8382 pictures with me everyday on Facebook) with a boo boo comment because she hates them.

She thinks I could be a stripper.

and that my cat is a drunk.

and that you can die from eating mushrooms.

Hope y'all enjoyed. I love my mom more than life and we have the craziest relationship. She lets me be the foul mouthed wild child that I am, and I owe her my life for letting me be that way.

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