By Kami Gray
Forget January 1st. It’s come and gone anyway so let it go and see every day as a chance for new year.
As you experience them, embrace those “low” points where action is needed to live an improved life – the life you desire. No negotiating, no stalling, and no taking better care of yourself in the future.
The reason many people make New Year’s resolutions:
New Year’s resolutions are a tool for negotiating with ourselves; we want to allow ourselves to have fun, be carefree and enjoy the holidays (or the entire year!) by overindulging in spending, drinking, eating, and letting our exercise routines lapse. It’s human nature to say, “I’ll be better tomorrow or starting Monday.” New Year’s resolutions are the Granddaddy of this thought process.
Why most people don’t follow through with their New Year’s resolutions:
It’s a mind trick to begin with. It’s a way of stating what you desire for yourself, but stalling on that idea. It’s like saying, “it’s okay to not take care of myself right now because I have a plan to do that in the future.” People don’t follow through with them because they’re not acting on their resolution immediately — like when they’re at the doctor’s office and he/she says they need to lose 40 pounds, or they get their credit card statement and are over their credit limit (again), or they can’t get off the couch because they’re so hung-over from drinking countless Jack and Cokes.
Honesty really is the best policy.
We think of honesty as an exceptional quality in others, but so often we tell repeated lies to ourselves. Brutal honesty is the only way to put an end to the rationalizing and the negotiations you make over and over. Write it down, say it out loud, or tell your best friend or spouse just how low you feel and ask them to help you and support you in turning things around. I work with overweight or obese people and one of the first things I ask them to do is use the word FAT. It has become so touchy and politically incorrect to tell it like it is. That’s what that doughy filling is though – it’s FAT. Tell it like it is and you are one step closer to the life you desire.
The reason people stick with New Year’s resolutions for awhile and then quit:
Look at dieters and the common occurrence of yo-yo dieting. This happens because well-meaning dieters haven’t changed their relationship with food or how they think of food. My jeans used to be six sizes larger than they are today. That was 23 years ago. No New Year’s resolution could help me unless I, got real with myself, examined my relationship with food and understood my eating triggers, embraced my bad habits, and acted immediately – at the moment I felt lousy, looked awful, and was filled with self disgust.
How to hit the reset button when you’ve quit or taken a break from New Year’s resolutions:
Nothing happens overnight. The weight gain, the financial mess, and the over-drinking have been a long time of bad habits in the making. It’s time to embrace baby steps and change your habits. So you ate a chocolate chip cookie and blew your new year’s resolution. Understand that you haven’t blown anything. It’s just a cookie! But many dieters figure well, I’ve gone and ruined my diet for today so I may as well really blow it and eat a few more cookies or maybe a half a pint of ice cream. Instead, cut your losses and move on. Forgive yourself, let it go, vow to be better the rest of the day, and move on. It’s about baby steps. Baby steps in the right direction add up to real measurable results. Cliché? You betcha! Does it work? Darn straight it does.
Are you putting the same item on your New Year’s resolutions list year-after-year?
In the same way that many people struggle with diet and weight loss, I used to struggle with office organization — we all have weak areas, and that was one of mine. My system of dumping handfuls of receipts into a giant drawer was inefficient and causing me a great deal of stress at tax time. I actually sat on the floor and cried one year on August fifteenth, the day my income tax extension was (over) due. That was my low point and the start of my new year. Up until then, I had never shown anyone just how poorly my office was organized was, but I called a friend who is an office organization expert, admitted I had a problem, and let her see first-hand just how bad it was. Now she was on the floor, but laughing hysterically. Then she took my drawers away to prevent me from emptying my pockets and purse into a giant black hole. I’ve slipped up a few times, but I catch myself, correct the behavior quickly, and get back on track.
It’s January 7th. The first day of your new year. Embrace this day with candor, honesty, and action.
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